"My X-type is too a real Jaguar" (TomSlick)
07/23/2017 at 15:21 • Filed to: None
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"My X-type is too a real Jaguar" (TomSlick)
07/23/2017 at 15:21 • Filed to: None | 2
| 10 |
Since an inner ear problems is keeping me off the lake this weekend, and since it is too damn hot to be outside sipping an Ice Cold Beer. I’ve been cooped up watching train wreck TV. I mean Police Reality shows. While watching I have come up with what I think is ultimate Policebait Hooptieness Index. Ever want to know if your ride has fallen into Policebait Hooptiedom? Well this 5 level index will tell you from least Hooptie to Sir Mix-a-Lot.
Index Level One Fallen Luxury
Luxury cars that are on their 4th owner, usually when they reach this level they have bubbling tint, expired registration, mismatched tires/wheels and generally are driven by someone with a suspended Driver’s License and outstanding tickets.
Index Level Two Mom’s Handme Down Small SUV
Generally ravaged by the sun and and a lack care and maintenance this is usually a 10-15 year old vehicle still in their mother’s name driven by someone who is now old enough that they should know enough to wash it and register it in their own name. Usually driven by someone on probation for a minor drug offense getting pulled over for having no brake lights while holding a small amounts of drugs, leaving an area known for street pharmaceutical sales.
Index Level 3 Base Model 10 year old Generic Japanese Appliance
Arguably the most dangerous to public safety and health hazzards. These cars are generally disgusting inside, and driven by someone not only Drunk, but drinking while driving.
Index Level 4 15 year old soccer mom van that hasn’t been washed in 10 years
Your 15 year old soccer mom van full of wrapped Christmas Presents in June is going to result in a K9 search. Even with the kids in the car. Besides if you have kids why is your car dirty?
Level 5 Any FWD GM Platform built between 1985-2008
Was there really ever any question this would be the top Policebait Hooptie? I mean watch 1 episode of Live PD, Backwoods Law, COPs, etc. They are there like cockroaches, usually without license plates.
My bird IS the word
> My X-type is too a real Jaguar
07/23/2017 at 16:01 |
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Level six: cars where you can see daylight through the floor pans.
Flynorcal: pilot, offshore sailor, car racer and panty thief
> My X-type is too a real Jaguar
07/23/2017 at 16:28 |
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No modifier for bumper stickers or weed logos on the windows? Back to the drawing board, you.
BigBlock440
> My X-type is too a real Jaguar
07/23/2017 at 16:39 |
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Besides if you have kids why is your car dirty?
Seriously? Kids are one of the biggest reasons for a dirty car.
ITA97, now with more Jag @ opposite-lock.com
> My X-type is too a real Jaguar
07/23/2017 at 23:27 |
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The index also needs an entry for rimz on 10-15 year old full-size SUV
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My X-type is too a real Jaguar
> Flynorcal: pilot, offshore sailor, car racer and panty thief
07/24/2017 at 09:22 |
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They generally blur those out.
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Flynorcal: pilot, offshore sailor, car racer and panty thief
> My X-type is too a real Jaguar
07/24/2017 at 10:35 |
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Yeah I guess the classic “Don’t like my driving? 1-800-EAT-SHIT” bumper sticker that the state troopers note while pulling the car over wouldn’t be allowed on TV. Fair point.
I was only joking but good call.
ttyymmnn
> BigBlock440
07/25/2017 at 10:05 |
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Have kids. Can confirm.
Eric @ opposite-lock.com
> My X-type is too a real Jaguar
07/25/2017 at 10:23 |
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“bubbling tint”
Who makes the tint that fades and bubbles that people put on luxury cars? The stuff I have always bought for my cars never fades or bubbles... Clearly, luxury car buyers are either cheaping out on this tint or it’s installed by a subsequent owner that would put super cheap tint on the car. I just can’t see the first two owners going that cheap and I don’t know how you can get even cheap tint to bubble and turn purple in 5-8 years.
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Eric @ opposite-lock.com
> BigBlock440
07/25/2017 at 10:58 |
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Inside the car, not outside. It’s like $5 to run it through your local tunnel wash and anyone should be able to handle this.
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Eric @ opposite-lock.com
> ITA97, now with more Jag @ opposite-lock.com
07/25/2017 at 11:00 |
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The probability that the car contains drugs is extremely high. Hi risers are also very likely to contain drugs.